Saturday’s global protest saw more than 1 million people (mostly women) gather and march together to protest…well, everything from women’s rights to human rights to LGBT support to Trump’s presidential victory and 1 whole day in office to just not getting their way in general. One participant was even seen carrying a sign protesting McDonalds’ upcoming offer of differently sized Big Macs. (Click Here for more details on the new Big Macs)
Fortunately, the protests were not only more peaceful than the riots that damaged property all over the country on Inauguration Day, but the streets were actually left CLEANER than before the events started! The largely female crowds celebrated their global “oneness” while subconsciously cleaning up the streets along the way. Nobody questioned the women who were seen scrubbing pee off of building walls or sweeping Starbucks cups into a nearby garbage can.
Carla LeVashue, a 42 yr. old Seattle native and mother of 2 teenager girls realized after several hours of unified yelling that her chants went from “Dump Trump/Trump is Trash” to “Dust stuff/Take out the trash.”
When confronted about it, LaVashue claimed, “I don’t recall when the chant changed. I don’t even remember walking into that Bed Bath & Beyond store to buy this broom and dust rag. But look, here is the receipt.” A few moments later she laughed and said, “Oh well a clean country is a happy country!”
Secretly, the husbands and significant others of all the protesters were disappointed to find out the protests were only 1 day and that their “better halves” would be coming back home.
Time to clean up those beer cans and pizza boxes, guys….your one day vacation is over!
*This sexist post brought to you by: PPKACRE (People for the Preservation of KellyAnne Conway’s Raccoon Eyes)